Borelia Mass

Timisha

Fri, 10 May 2013 23:47:56 -0400

Only a few weeks away
And then its complete

The mind is an ocean, and you're in a watery grave

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 13:02:05 -0400

I have no idea if you’re safe
If chrissa & ori are safe
I need to know if you’re okay
So I can be positive about ending it and waiting
I’m so scared

Dry kill logic: goodnight

Wed, 27 Feb 2013 04:05:40 -0500

I’m conflicted
I’m torn between my old ways and a new experiment
Both sides are for mutual happiness
But only one side is openly willing to compromise as long as they’re not lost or abandoned in the process

There’s so much to lose, and literally absolutely nothing to gain

i have officially fallen apart

Sun, 06 Jan 2013 21:23:21 -0500

and there’s nobody around to reach out to me
….so this is what it feels like to be alone

Timisha II

Fri, 21 Dec 2012 02:25:33 -0500

Knowing that you’re not here……it hurts.
it really does
mainly because you keep tellin me that you’re the mothafuckin QUEEN & you got this
well…..now’s the time for you to put your talk to use
now’s the time for you to step your game up and show me before/after you get here

I will not accept less than what i deserve
and i won’t relapse back into anything
if we’re gonna make this work, you better be straight up wit hme
no secrets
no lies
no games
FOR DAMN SURE NO HOLLY
no bullshit, no playing….nothing

just you, me and your two kids, and our long deserved happiness together after we’ve changed

on the planet of this sux camel dix

Mon, 03 Dec 2012 17:26:12 -0500

There’s this band that i play with
and the singer is cool, but his problem is that he’s waaaay too feminent looking
like his fans are 80% female oriented…which kinda sucks
so their music is shitty as hell and their drummer’s talents is not being put to good use at all
and it’s bad because these guys are just fucking terrible.

Let alone, my band is the band that is reviving the music scene they live in
so it’s kinda uncomfortable when i look at it that way
i’m not egotistical, i just feel horrible about all of it
i’ll be playing a huge show in january in their town, and with his band
but i don’t want his band to close out the locals before the national gets onstage
otherwise the crowd is just gonna go stupid and lazy

deception

Fri, 30 Nov 2012 21:08:12 -0500

I find out you’ve been behind these games all along
i find out that you’re the reason why my existence has nearly fallen full circle
and now……i don’t know what to even say to you
i feel so incredibly betrayed…..by just everything you’ve done
you’ve promised me you don’t associate with her
you’ve promised me that you don’t talk to her or anything at all

and your promises ring empty
my pain that’s been shed has NOT bashed her of motherhood or being a girlfriend
only bash that she left my heart so empty and broken
I’m overwhelmed by the searing amount of anger and disappointment i have towards you

i’m not even sure if i can speak to you right now

Timisha 2

Wed, 28 Nov 2012 19:56:39 -0500

Hey timisha
I miss you love you so much
I hope you’re doing well
Time is coming soon for us both
I know they have kids but I can’t wait to be a badass daddy in training

I hope to see you on your way down

Wed, 28 Nov 2012 04:23:31 -0500

Timisha
I miss you
And your eyes
And your body
I miss how much loving control I had over you
How we gave ourselves to eachother recklessly that amounted to marathons of wild sex lol

Now that responsibility has gotten to us both
Let’s see how we both manage together
Me with my skyrocketing career in music and dying urge to be a hell of a father figure
You turning into “da mothafuckin queen”
With your 2 daughters I can’t wait to help you raise with a lot of positivity and happiness together
Here’s to the future

Hey love, I kiss you too. I'm sorry I'm a bad friend I haven't been on my tumblr in a while. Anyhow, I hope you can make it down here, that would be super.

Thu, 01 Nov 2012 02:55:46 -0400

it’s all good merissa, you could never EVER be a bad friend to me
shit’s just been crazy over here honestly due to alot of music and alot of heartbreak left and right lately and shit
this is what i get for thinking i could date death metal girls, goddamn elitist assholes, lol

life......is pain

Wed, 29 Aug 2012 01:51:23 -0400

Everyone (and i repeat, EVERYONE) who has labeled the friendzone on me
has not once given me a chance
not one measly fuck has been given to the person who sits there and watches you suffer while you make choice after choice on every guy that is by far Beneath me.
Money and transportation NEVER masks the fact that there’s guys out there that are 1,000,000,000x worse than me
I sit here….and i listen
not only do i listen…..but i remember
i remember all the times i get turned down or lose attraction from someone because i don’t have this or that.
I remember all the times that i never wanted someone to put out to me because that’s moving too fast for my weak heart.
I remember watching people i cared about, people i had developed feelings for, just consistently throw themselves to guys who are socially attractive or even physically attractive.
Only to be ignored and abandoned or probably even worse after he gets what he only wanted all along.

People on this world don’t seem to realize that guys like us?
Guys like us who give too much of a damn
Guys like us who recklessly offer everything and the world to someone
DON’T DESERVE TO SUFFER FOR OTHER PEOPLE’S MISTAKES
But it’s expected, and i know the scene will change for me if i ever end up getting Ripped or chiseled up, people will lineup at my fucking doorstep just to have me, Yet they’ll completely forget that i was always forgotten….by everyone.
I’ve constantly sat by and just……been forcefed visually that people in this world are just flat out horrible and only in it for themselves
and people like me are meant to suffer for everyone else
because of the fact that as much as we fight for the right things
Nobody gives a shit about the right things……nobody
People preach about wanting something real
People preach about wanting a “true gentleman”
People preach about “long lasting love”
But everybody is guilty as charged for LOVINGLY looking in the wrong places

I’m a fool for believing that anyone off this god awful world would look past my outer problems and actually fall in love with ME.
i’m a bigger fool for believing that people in this life that i’ve vacatingly opened up to, have just walked the other way and made me feel like an option…..all the time……not once did anyone ever even just……care.
My heart is so fucking drained from disappointment, lying, heartbreak, hopes getting let down, betrayal, and almost everything remotely as bad.
LIFE isn’t a bitch, KARMA isn’t a bitch.
Trying to show someone that they recklessly deserve love, is a bitch
Fighting to help someone not make you an option, is a bitch
Failing miserably and looking in the mirror everytime, is a bitch.
i SERIOUSLY don’t fucking understand how i’ve gone this long with so much heartbreak, so little relationships, without even succumbing to being rushed to a mental hospital.

How long can i fight until the fight’s kicked out of me?
How much further can i go, when nobody wants to go with me?
How much harder does life have to get until the moment where it’s over?

where did you go?

Sun, 29 Jul 2012 04:19:20 -0400

i went to send you a message
and your shit either blocked me or deleted me
and now….i’m confused
i don’t know what the fuck is going on honestly
i really don’t
i just really hope your parents haven’t gotten a hold of my email shit cause i’ll wreck them
please come back

Timisha

Wed, 25 Jul 2012 02:48:21 -0400

You know something?
I always felt like every single day i lived when we were together, that you’d maybe one day listen to me
i nearly gave up everything i had just to be the biggest and greatest inspiration in your life
Not to sound fucked up or egotistical, but your life was preeeeeetty goddamn shitty before you met me, lol

My words inspired you
my devotion and dedication drove you
and if it wasn’t my anger at you caving in all the time
then my force-fed confidence lit a seirous fire under your ass, lol

Since we separated in 2008
i’ve LITERALLY been all types of fucking miserable and probably even worse honestly.
I still feel bad about the fact that you are a single mom
that still emoitonally devastates me on the inside on so many levels
but i’m okay with it, cause where they fucked up
i’m pretty much winning like SO HARDCORE, lmao
Your children are my inspiration and devotion
you are my reason to wake up every single day once you get here
our family right now will pretty much usher in a family that NOBODY will be able to contain or even as much control

I’ve told you since the day we met that nobody controls you and nobody possesses your life or heart except the person who has VICIOUSLY protected you at all costs from bad people and shitty things.

Everyday you live, you know that your two children aren’t the only ones waiting for you when you wake up all the time.

Hell if you get down here and move in with me and you want to get married by the court, then that’s fucking fine with me
it’s not like any bitch down here is seriously gonna do what it takes to do better than you
cause you and i know DAMN WELL nobody is going to, because they can’t and won’t be able to handle the person that i am, and it’s true
you’re the only one to this day who still handled me and handled me like a boss.

just know when you get down here
i’m going to wear you the fuck out
and i’m gonna make damn sure you NEVER have a reason to leave

(N)Disposed

Mon, 25 Jun 2012 01:08:49 -0400

[Verse 1]
A: I’m not the only one who Watched you walk away
From your creation
You have abandoned your child for the last time!

J: You couldn’t Face the truth again
You failed to realize….

TIme and time again
you have Shattered the bonds
We have created a dynsasty
Your body crumbles from Hate!!!
Bullets for bloodlines
Broken hands will never Save me as you

{Chorus: A & J}
BLEED ME-dry
HOPELESS- it’s the only way i’ve tried
To help you understand
but what’s done is done Now….You have disposed of Me!

[Verse 2]
A: What is left…but the lies you have to offer?
Buried alive with perfection that Ails you

j: It seems an honest man has Died inside

A: Never Burn this bridges built Here
Separate the emptiness and dispose of the Void that you fear!!!!

J: Erase the face from memories
and make the enemies as you

{Chorus 1 & 2}
BLEED ME-dry
HOPELESS- it’s the only way i’ve tried
To help you understand
but what’s done is done Now….You have disposed of Me!

This Is- Life
Now- I couldn’t fight your war this time
I Avoid the failure
Within the Light that’s blinded in time

A & J:
What is the difference in the end?
Nobody knows the truth now
if it’s a waste of wings and dreams
(a) My world is bigger than your Lies
(J) My pain is bigger Than your Life

There’s nothing more….that i Can do for you!

-lead-

THIS IS THE LIFE THAT YOU LEAD
THERE’S NO ESCAPING THE TRUTH THIS TIME
DON’T RUNAWAY FROM THE ANSWERS
NO MORE QUESTIONS TO VOID YOUR REASON

{Chorus 1 & 3}
BLEED ME-dry
HOPELESS- it’s the only way i’ve tried
To help you understand
but what’s done is done Now….You have disposed of Me!

Now i rise, Above your
Influence and hatred within
no more forgiveness
As you crawl away
I have disposed of you…….

I HAVE….DISPOSED OF YOU
I HAVE…..DISPOSED OF YOU!

Hope..........

Tue, 12 Jun 2012 17:35:14 -0400

She got back in touch with me
I’m so thankful she’s okay and that she misses me
I need her soul so badly

Pain

Fri, 08 Jun 2012 02:01:06 -0400

Its been almost months since I spoke to you
I miss you so fucking much
Your pictures consume my eyes
And your eyes alone in certain ones control my soul itself
I miss you and I need you so fucking badly to talk to me
I’m trying to come up to your state to see you
But I don’t know where to start

You can't know

Thu, 07 Jun 2012 01:13:40 -0400

You will never know
what it’s like to be internally Alone
and all there is that you know will be what’s left here when you’re wrong

I’ll be here
i’ll ALWAYS be here
you think i’m full of shit?!
When has there NOT been a moment where i’ve had something that was permanent i my life?

Timisha I miss you

Fri, 01 Jun 2012 21:26:21 -0400

Timisha I don’t know if you can read this but please get a hold of me, I changed my shit on my fb page because I was constantly harassed by everyone who was friends with “her”

It’s not true on my page and you Can not jump to conclusions constantly on me like you kept promising me you wouldn’t do.
I told you before that everyone is temporary, so pleeeeeeeeeese get a holdof me ASAP

Let’s skip the small talk and get down to buisness My name is alexander and I’m 26 I...

Tue, 10 Apr 2012 03:37:12 -0400

Let’s skip the small talk and get down to buisness My name is alexander and I’m 26 I don’t want a girl, I demand a woman I’m past the age of high school and I don’t tolerate games Unless u play xbox, then its on!

No cheating, no lying, no leading on. If you want me, come get me But I’ll give you the rundown about me now:

I’ve never had a long term relationship I’ve never been with someone past a couple weeks Couple days dependin if they end up for someone else I’m a hopeless romantic With a masters degree in emotional attatchment I will make you feel whole and free again Don’t doubt my passion\dedication cause you’ll regret it I back up everything I brag, so please try me!!! I’m dedicated to my music and love, and in all honesty My life is shit cause I don’t have a woman to come home to Not a girl, not a teeny gal, but a woman

Money is not a conern to me cause I can live without it I’m not a cheater and I refuse to get jealous over people who are better than me. I want love and appreciation And ill give you love unconditional

You could either have your mind blown by the luckiest guy inthe world

Or you can keep moving on The choice is yours

Not in my time

Sun, 08 Apr 2012 01:57:15 -0400

Nobody cares…….anymore